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Traveling Alone or Family Travel Whether you want to travel alone, or travel with the kids, parents, or granny, this forum is for you!

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Old 02-06-2010, 02:15 PM   #1
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Default solo traveler at heart... what to do about the lovers?!

i have always had the adage of 'i travel by my DAMN self,' and i try to explain this to people, both friends and lovers, when the need arises. i could get into all the reasons that i revere solo travel, but that's another thread entirely! primarily, though, i do it because it allows the experience to be more visceral and raw; the brilliant absence of the never-ending question, "well... what do YOU wanna do now?" and the negotiations that often come when two people's desires are different, even if slightly. when traveling alone, i can do whatever I wanna do; conversations with strangers are more beautiful because it is more of a one-on-one thing (and i tend to meet a hell of a lot more people, and have a more genuine experience, as solo). it is spiritual, it is the embodiment of having to rely on myself, and it is truly a wonderful, wonderful thing.

perhaps someday i'll find a traveling partner. but until then, i want to experience it ALL by myself, for myself. certainly, people are met along the path, and that is wonderful, and THOSE are the people i believe i'm supposed to share it with.

i find myself having to run away from relationships, though, because of this little 'addiction.' certainly, there are often other circumstances involved - but they always seem to wanna settle down somewhere, get jobs, rent a place, and my spirit cries out 'no!! fuck ALL DAT!!' even if they are more the 'vagabonding' type, and those are the people with whom i've had relationships as of late... i still can't free-ball it the way i wanna if i'm with somebody; if for only the practical reason that i am very conscientious about my money, and have established a pattern of 'work somewhere, save every DIME, and then GO GO GO!!' and the significant other generally doesn't adhere to this way of thinking/living. and so i weasle my way out, and feel generally terrible for having 'abandoned' yet another person because of my 'fear of commitment', but can't do anything else.... even occasionally lying to them that 'i'll be back,' as i've recently done to a lovely woman down in key west...

how do you guys find this balance? i have no 'home base,' and taking little vacations, only to come back to them and IT, isn't really my bag... it feels like i HAVE to break people's hearts in the process, because i love them and revere the time i'm with them, but then... it's time to GO! and they're all in love with me and... it turns terrible. what to do, to satiate the 'lonely traveler' dreams, but not break people's hearts?? fuck if i know.
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Old 04-19-2010, 07:01 PM   #2
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I am like you. I have only travelled alone once and it was amazing. I would love to have a travel companion if the person were exactly like that..truly wanting to just up and go, willing to spend the money and energy on going places and just winging it. My new boyfriend is that type..to an extent. I have yet to find out if he's adventurous enough to carry his free spirit overseas
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Old 04-20-2010, 03:57 PM   #3
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Thanks for sharing your thoughts on traveling alone. I am same, pretty much.
I just find myself moving faster when I am alone. I don't mean that I am in and out in a jiffy, but I integrate quicker and making friends faster when I am on my own.
I did travel with a friend for about 10 days and it was pretty cool, but looking back, we never met anyone that we stayed in touch with or that helped make that trip memorable to another dimension.

On my own, the spiff is on like Donkey Kong! I'm like a kid in a candy store- anything goes and on my terms!

I guess if you want to meet someone who travels the way you like to travel, I would imagine that your best bet is in a hostel. Travelers with like minds.
It's the same philosophy as to why so many pilots have affairs with stewardesses. They can both completely relate to the lifestyle of being away from their families/spouses/partners and in different places so frequently.
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Old 04-21-2010, 04:13 PM   #4
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There are pros and cons to both but I tend to meet more people when I am alone. Thing is, I am not what many would call a people person and if I travel with a friend it does give me someone to talk to but no motivation to talk to others.
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