In need of a pep talk.... - Page 3 - TravelPUNK Backpacker College Student Budget Travel Message Boards!

**expatben** · 05-12-2006, 02:44 PM

Its true, there are a lot of naysayers out there and to some extent I don't blame them. We all spend time building our lifes, our own world as it were. Now for most people thats enough and considered the norm. Travelers...not so much. Travelers need to go beyond our own little world and explore. However once we leave we go into uncertanty and leave ourselves wider open than we have ever been. For the people doing it, the risk does not seem so big, we have our eyes on the prize. However for the people watching the side lines watching with no controll it can be scary.

juls · 05-14-2006, 10:30 AM

Hi. I'm having a bit of a problem too. I started living my dream of traveling a few years ago and have fallen pretty hard for it--harder than I ever thought I'd fall for trekking about the world. Actually, I always knew in my heart that this is what I wanted to do. The problem is that I have a family (not kids or husband) that thinks that life is better spent here and with them. It isn't that I don't love my family--in fact, I adore my family and it is only because of them that I even consider staying here in the U.S. I have been planning to go back to school to pursue a degree in Biology, but I realized that it is really not what I want. What I want is to travel and try my hand at living abroad. I'm scared crapless about telling my family that I'm not going back to school but instead going to leave to pursue my real dream. I'm also terrified that they are right and that I will regret leaving and missing out on family. Any words of wisdom? Thanks.

**lilwings** · 05-14-2006, 05:22 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by juls@May 14 2006, 11:30 AM
What I want is to travel and try my hand at living abroad.* I'm scared crapless about telling my family that I'm not going back to school but instead going to leave to pursue my real dream.* I'm also terrified that they are right and that I will regret leaving and missing out on family.* Any words of wisdom?* Thanks.

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Your father is going to be concerned about your future no matter what. In order to sway his concerns a little, it might help to come up with a good plan, and tell him about it. What's your plan for living arrangements, food, money, transportation, and so forth? The more you tell him about what you want to do, the more he'll know that you know what you're getting into. So long as you have a plan for what you want, it shows that you have some control over things, and you're not just letting life take you along for the ride... YOU are PICKING the path YOU really want.

I would come up with sometime timeline for you to go back to school though. Once your family knows that you are doing the living-abroad-thing to gain life experience before you settle down into education, they might be able to understand why you want to travel first and go to school later.

If your dad really has problems with, just send him our way... we have plenty of travellers here that will give him some good answers!

juls · 05-17-2006, 04:25 PM

Thanks 'lilwings' for the words of encouragement. I guess I should clarify that I already have my degree, but have been generally unhappy with my life here in the U.S. since graduating (mostly because I have this, as of yet, unsatiated desire to travel and explore the world in the manner I've always dreamed). For the last year and a half I've deceived myself and my family with the idea that what I want is to go back to school, but everytime I get close to enrolling, I can't get myself to commit to it. I do have a love for the biological sciences, but I'm realizing that it is more my curiosity about the world around me that drives that love and I am more fulfilled by exploring the world at large and the stories it holds than in going back to school. My principal fear and (at least this is what they've expressed) my parents' principal fear is not to leave and be unsafe, but rather to leave and love it so much that I decide to live there (wherever it is) permanently. I know that I shouldn't worry so much about the unknown, but the guilt I feel in essentially choosing this life abroad over a life with my family in close (reasonably close, within-the-contiguous-states-close anyway) proximity is very difficult to come to terms with. How does one let go of this guilt?!

Am I weird for feeling this way? Thanks...really!

**Maineartist** · 06-07-2006, 09:06 AM

Congratulations on wanting to live a life in Europe.
I also want to and really love Italy. "Guilt is meant to be a tap on the shoulder not a wrecked life." -Lucinda Basset In response to your question: people sometimes try to make us feel guilty but we don't have to. I'm trying to stop making others feel guilty.

Ask yourself if what you are doing is terribly bad? No one benefits from experienceing guilt. .

LegioPatriaNosta · 07-30-2006, 03:35 AM

wow im glad i found this thread,i leave in 30 minutes to Europe for 4 months and to know that all these things im feeling are just normal makes me feel alot better.
I was wondering why i wasnt to excited and not jumping for you when i woke up this morning,i only felt sad and overwhelmed by this huge trip to a place ive only dreamed about.But now i am at ease and feeling more calm and excited,so thank you all for you're imput