Who you are - TravelPUNK Backpacker College Student Budget Travel Message Boards!

**TheJake** · 08-25-2005, 01:37 PM

Ok Kids,
I haven't posted a seriously deep topic in quite awhile and I apologize. Here is my question to each and everyone of you.

What Defines you?
What makes you who you are?

Being in a church setting most of the time I hear this question alot. And since churches tend to try and put people (& God) in boxes I always hear close to the same response. I know that who I am has been shaped by two things in my life. First my spirituality and second my travel experiences. Those two things define Jake DeVries.

What defines you?

**U2fan** · 08-25-2005, 02:17 PM

hmmm that is kind of hard. off the top of my head:

travel

the realization I had about 1.5 years ago that life is too short to be unhappy or worry about everything and seeing unhappy people who work all the time and not wanting to be like that and the subsequent changes in my outlook on life....

....seeing both the good and the bad of my parents and their relationship has also really shaped me.

**omisan** · 08-25-2005, 02:30 PM

The utter inability to be definable defines me.

**juliagulia** · 08-25-2005, 02:36 PM

wow thats tough...

I would have to say that my heritage shapes me. It's a big part of my life and it always saddens me when I see my cousins who don't speak a speck of Portuguese and who are as Americanized as you can get. I'm proud to say that I am as Brazilian as one can get in an American setting and I never fail to point out my heritage.

In the same sense, I guess my family name. If you notice on my signature, I put my full name, including my mother's maiden name, which is my middle name. On all papers/essays/checks etc. I make sure to sign my full given name even though I'm always bombared by questions like "how the hell do you pronounce your middle name?" and "why do you put your middle name if everyone knows that you are Julia Rocha?". It's because it's the only thing that I have of my mother's side of the family and a huge history connected to it (long long complicated story) And also b/c i love coaching people on how to pronounce it

Uhn drrrrah gee

hmm... also...

Even though I am not religious at all, I used to be and it used to be a very big part of my life. So that has made me the person I am today. If it weren't for my parents pushing religion towards me so much, I never would have questioned it, I never would have sought out other religions, and I never would have been so open-minded about other's religions and beliefs. I'd also probably still be very homophobic and still be telling people "You're gonna go to hell!" (i'm not saying that all religious people are like that... actually most of the religious people i know aren't... just, a few years ago, I was)

**Diorama** · 08-26-2005, 11:28 AM

Good Question...

I think that being raised by a single mom defines me. Though my dad is still 100% in my life, but it's just a different life when you live in an all female household.

We learned early on not to rely on men. Be strong, independant women with the ability to fix anything because we can. I think that's why I turned out very independent and opinionated. (which is sometimes a curse!). But my mom always told us that we can do anything.

Dammit I love my mommy!!!

**kingcrazylegs** · 08-26-2005, 04:45 PM

Good question indeed...

I think 2 things define me: what I have been given (upbringing and people in my life) and what I have chosen.

First, my upbringing defines me... I was raised by a traditional Irish Catholic military dad and my british mom was raised in an orphange in England during the war. I am the youngest of 9 and an only child (the only one my parents had together). So all those complicated influnences to start with.

Next, the choices I have (and still) made. I left home when I was 16 and never looked back. Did volunteer work in various countries, went to college in Europe, and on and on. My chosen professon (non-profit outreach) greatly impacts me - thus PEOPLE greatly impact me.

**benna2** · 08-26-2005, 07:15 PM

This is a great question...it's actually one that I had to think about for the last day or so before actually answering it. (And I usually don't think so much before I talk!!)

There are two things that I feel "define me" One is the way I was raised. My parents gave me a lot of freedom to make my own choices and mistakes...and I had to live with and deal with the consequences of those choices. That taught me a lot and gave me confidence to live my life the way I want to...And the other thing that defines me is the way I treat people. I always try to be kind to everyone. I think a simple smile goes a long way and can really make someone's day.

What makes me who I am...Again, a couple of things. I try to not let any bad experiences I have had control my life. I have not had a "hard" life but there have been some things that I have gone through that I definately would not wish onto anyone else. The other thing that makes me who I am is my desire to travel. I think everyone on these boards can relate. There is so much in this world to see and every time I go somewhere new I feel more alive than before.

**bookofkels** · 08-26-2005, 08:14 PM

damn you jake and your hard life question's, well you asked for it so here it is:

What defines me?....i grew up in London then moved to Northen Ireland, so that speaks for itself, i was a catholic with an english accent, thats rascis's for you they start as old as 11, my parents owned a bar which they couldn't run cos they drank too much so i ran it for them, so i guess the things that define me is i was always alot older in my thinking that others which i see now as a good thing.

What makes me who i am?....life experiences make me who i am, in my younger years my parents where great, i have alot of morals, more than someone whose parents have been with them all thought life, so i know in my early years my parents did their job, but i know right from wrong so i believe i make me to be the person i am..

Hey Jake you asked the question, sorry if i gave a complex answer but i figured thats what you wanted, but if you ask me about my faith then that is a topic i could really go to hell for....but hey this me

Kel

**bellelass** · 08-27-2005, 01:01 PM

I think my sexuality (that covers way more than sex folks..). and my choices. hm.

**kingcrazylegs** · 08-27-2005, 01:26 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by bellelass@Aug 27 2005, 01:01 PM
I think my sexuality (that covers way more than sex folks..).* and my choices.* hm.

[snapback]75062[/snapback]

Yea, sexuality (in the full sense of the word) certainly is a defining point.

**bellelass** · 08-28-2005, 09:31 PM

gah. shaadddddaaaap you dont know.

**The Monsignor** · 08-29-2005, 09:16 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by bellelass@Aug 27 2005, 01:01 PM
I think my sexuality (that covers way more than sex folks..).* and my choices.* hm.

[snapback]75062[/snapback]

In one short sentence, you manage to convey to me just how little I know about people online, despite having a really good feel for the people behind the posts...

**The Monsignor** · 08-29-2005, 09:41 AM

What defines me?

A series of 'significant emotional events' during my formative years, for one. Some humorous (I was the only freshman in my high school to have spent a night in a Mexican Jail), some quite painful (watching my mom die of cancer, while my grandmother told her that she was going to hell, and that she deserved to suffer), and some hurt too much not to laugh. (My grandfather, Boris's funeral - As someone who was really fond of him, watching the crows squabbling over his <meager> estate during the funeral, then attending the wake afterwards, being the only English speaker in a room full of Russians who all remember me when I was still a toddler. I wound up drinking vodka and speaking with this 150 year old priest that performed the service - neither of us spoke a common language, but after he drank me under the table, I believe we were both speaking fluent Gibberish) (Grandpa Boris: "Sometimes, it hurts too much not to laugh...")

For another, I found my role models in books. I had plenty of examples of who not to grow up like in my life. I found the ones I wanted to be in the books I read. My heroes all were smart, capable, brave, self-sacrificing, idealistic yet pragmatic, and damned good looking. I'm doing my best to live up to those standards (except for the 'good looking' part... I've just about given up on that one!). Course, nobody bothered to tell me that it's not humanly possible to live up to those standards, so I'm eternally dissatisfied with myself... (I hear they have a new pill for people with my problem, it's called Damnitol... wonder where I can get some)

**TheJake** · 08-30-2005, 09:14 AM

"The very definition of who we are is defined not by what we are told but what we experience."
-Jake DeVries

Experiences shape and mold us all into what we've become today and what we will become tomorrow. I believe without a doubt that even my experience here on travelpunk the past year has transformed me and left a defining mark on how I interact with new people and view different cultures. Because of tpunk I have a worldview that none of my friends share.

These and more are all things that define me today. What specifically in your current life is defining you? The people you hang out with? The music you listen too? Your parents love life?

Do share.

**omisan** · 08-30-2005, 10:14 AM

Quote:

Your parents love life?

No, that doesn't define me, but walking in on them in 5th grade has definitely scarred me a bit!

**The Monsignor** · 08-31-2005, 01:09 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by TheJake@Aug 30 2005, 09:14 AM
"The very definition of who we are is defined not by what we are told but what we experience."
-Jake DeVries

Experiences shape and mold us all into what we've become today and what we will become tomorrow. I believe without a doubt that even my experience here on travelpunk the past year has transformed me and left a defining mark on how I interact with new people and view different cultures. Because of tpunk I have a worldview that none of my friends share.

[snapback]75273[/snapback]

You know, actually having been exposed to the folks here on Tpunk has caused me to realign my life some. Over time, it's pretty easy to find that your path in life, due to outside forces, work, relationship pressures etc., diverges from the direction of your true happiness. Being here, and meeting you folks (albeit indirectly) has reminded me that I wanted to be somewhere else in my life, and that over time, my course has drifted off. I spent so much time looking at the short to mid-term that I lost track of who I wanted to be, and what makes me happy.

I'm busy getting back on track, but I have you guys to thank for opening my eyes!

**kingcrazylegs** · 08-31-2005, 01:29 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by The Monsignor@Aug 31 2005, 01:09 AM
You know, actually having been exposed to the folks here on Tpunk has caused me to realign my life some.* Over time, it's pretty easy to find that your path in life, due to outside forces, work, relationship pressures etc., diverges from the direction of your true happiness.* Being here, and meeting you folks (albeit indirectly) has reminded me that I wanted to be somewhere else in my life, and that over time, my course has drifted off.* I spent so much time looking at the short to mid-term that I lost track of who I wanted to be, and what makes me happy.

I'm busy getting back on track, but I have you guys to thank for opening my eyes!

[snapback]75407[/snapback]

Well said, I totally have to agree on that

**IDDQD** · 08-31-2005, 07:29 AM

I really dont think "Who am I" is a question I can answer. I could say my family, my music, travelling, my profession, my direction in life, my experiences...but really if all those things were taken away from me I wouldnt cease to exist, so did they ever really define me?

This question is why in the near future I will be flying out to BC to a guided seminar that for 40 minutes, 12 times a day for 3 days you answer the question "Who am I?" I've spoken to people that have participated and say the experience is unlike any other and the answers you come up with are nothing short of completely life changing.

**TheJake** · 08-31-2005, 07:35 AM

do tell more

**IDDQD** · 08-31-2005, 08:00 AM

Illumination Intensive

People read about this and lump it in to the "Tony Robbins" pile real quick. Haha, this is no Tony Robbins. I have worked with the teacher of this intensive and can say the experience of working with him is beyond words, he just has an ability to reach people on a deeper level than many people have ever felt in their lives.