The Fickleness of Hostel Life - TravelPUNK Backpacker College Student Budget Travel Message Boards!

**Canadian Bacon** · 09-13-2009, 09:13 AM

I'm going to go on a little rant here, because for some reason, the fickleness of European hostel life really got to me this last trip to Spain.

You meet someone, you hang out for a while, you have good conversations, you expect a certain amount of loyalty (no matter how shortlived) back...

The story goes like this: while in Granada I met a pretty cool group of people. It was three Aussie girls, me and one UK guy. I liked hanging out with them, and we sort of formed a little group that would hang out all the time for a few days straight. We had some great times and great talks watching the sunset from the rooftop of our hostel in Granada, drinking Sangria.

Anyway, on me and James' last night in Granada, this big-ass group of really obnoxious Aussie guys comes in. They had massively cockblocked me a night (another story) before so I wasn't keen on them, and they also stole weed from James that night. So we told the girls we didn't want to hang out with them, but the girls basically chose the new group of guys over me and James, and for us both it was the biggest slap in the face, as we had hung out like family for ever a few short days.

After Granada I got pretty disillusioned by hostel life, and events later in the trip in Seville and Barcelona only confirmed what I had been feeling.

In Valencia on the other hand, I stayed with a local (a friend of a friend) and the time that I had there hanging out with the locals was just soooo much better than staying at a hostel and dealing with all the fickle hostel social bullshit.

It's strange because it didn't really bother me on previous trips, but its also been a while since I backpacked Europe... hostels in other less travelled parts of the world generally have less number of bastard backpackers.

On the flipside, I did make a really really good friend in Granada, who I ended up travelling to Seville and meeting up with in Barcelona - someone who I will probably contact in the future... so I suppose the good outweighs the bad.

But still, my general opinion of European hostel life is quite low right now, save very few individuals. I know I should not expect any loyalty from total strangers, but at the same time, it really sucks and kind of detracts from my faith in backpackers as a community in general.

**travelpunk** · 09-13-2009, 04:06 PM

Sucks about the chicks in Granada, bro.

I can't say that I've ever experienced that. Probably because when I stay in hostels I usually book private rooms and never really hang out at the hostel itself. Thus, I never really hangout with other travelers for long periods of time as I'm out and about trying to meet locals.

I just use the hostel for crashin, in peace, without worrying if people are going through my shit.

...I love my privacy

.

Sorry to hear it man. I hope Ibiza made up for it

!

**aliz** · 09-13-2009, 05:59 PM

I guess that sort of thing would happen more when traveling alone... because the girls were travelling together in a group, they probably just didn't think twice about hanging out with new people, as long as the three of them were still together. I guess you just have to prepare yourself for that and not worry about it too much - I mean, you're traveling alone for a reason, right?
but I think it totally depends on the hostels. Some hostels I've been to are a bit too social - and if you're not in with the group or don't particularly feel like socialising that night, then it's not going to be much fun. I love small hostels, but I find that staying in slightly bigger ones is often a better experience as you have the option to meet people and hang out, or you can just do your own thing if you want.

**simply_angelic** · 09-13-2009, 08:02 PM

I'm going to play a little devil's advocate here.

Based on the fact that you said the Aussie had cock-blocked you one night, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that you didn't treat the girls as just your friends but rather something a little more. Maybe the girls just weren't that interested. Usually there's a reason a girl LETS a guy get cock blocked. We're not as naiive as you might like to believe. We know whats going on, and if the girl truly was interested, you'd know too.

The thing is, you CHOSE to give the girls an ultimatum and you were too confident in the outcome. A part of hostel life is meeting new people (which is pretty cool IMO). Im sure the girls didn't WANT to exclude you, but they wanted to hang out with new people too...

**expatben** · 09-13-2009, 11:18 PM

I will say this, please don't let this experience sour you on European hostel life. There are some nice hostels out there but unfortunatley, there are also people who will steal-in any country from others.
If those gals wanna go off with an obnoxious dude who stole from someone else let them, and then go off and meet someone new.

**mish99** · 09-14-2009, 09:03 AM

I dont know, I love travelling alone because you get to choose to hand out with. When I was in Venice I used to hang out with the crazy rowdy aussies at night and the more interesting american girls (who I am still friends with) during the day. I hope there was no hard feelings, but it was just what I felt like at the time.

I suppose when you are travelling alone you do get sorta 'attached' to a group and you hang until you leave, but when in a group - like with those girls in your experience - they were in a group and probably didnt even realise.

**LostFarmboy** · 09-14-2009, 02:59 PM

I wouldn't take it personally dude. Sometimes it can be so bloody good to hang out with people from your home country. People that get your humour, slang, and booze consumption levels. People that you can discuss things from back home with. It's an immediate bond when you're on the road, and one that's very hard to compete with.

As far as the cockblocking goes - all's fair in love and war. Gotta have game...or so I've been told

**Dig** · 09-14-2009, 06:45 PM

eh...

Fuck 'em.

Get back up on the horse and ride again. Remember, you were in F'N Granada looking at the Alhambra when this shit happened.

BTW

What hostel did you stay in?

**Canadian Bacon** · 09-15-2009, 07:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dig

eh...

Fuck 'em.

Get back up on the horse and ride again. Remember, you were in F'N Granada looking at the Alhambra when this shit happened.

BTW

What hostel did you stay in?

Yeah true words, which is the mentality that I tried to have even though i was very upset at the time - and I kept thinking about this stuff throughout the trip because this sort of thing never happened to me before... I suppose I must learn to let things go more easily, although i have never really been that type.

Yeah it was the Oasis... which is still a hostel I would recommend because its a great place with a great view. (Actually I stayed at the Oasis in Seville too).

**Canadian Bacon** · 09-15-2009, 07:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LostFarmboy

As far as the cockblocking goes - all's fair in love and war. Gotta have game...or so I've been told

Yup, that's definitely true. Actually when I think about it, I can't really fault those guys because I stole the hot german girl from their group initially, so in a way they just took her back.

All the same, the lesson I learned was that things should be saw through till the end -- i sort of cockblocked myself for not sticking with it and putting up a better fight.

**Canadian Bacon** · 09-15-2009, 07:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by simply_angelic

I'm going to play a little devil's advocate here.

Based on the fact that you said the Aussie had cock-blocked you one night, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that you didn't treat the girls as just your friends but rather something a little more. Maybe the girls just weren't that interested. Usually there's a reason a girl LETS a guy get cock blocked. We're not as naiive as you might like to believe. We know whats going on, and if the girl truly was interested, you'd know too.

The thing is, you CHOSE to give the girls an ultimatum and you were too confident in the outcome. A part of hostel life is meeting new people (which is pretty cool IMO). Im sure the girls didn't WANT to exclude you, but they wanted to hang out with new people too...

Actually the main thing is that these guys stole weed from me and my friend (we had split a dime bag) after we had shared a joint with these guys. I was prepared to hang out with them (even after the c-block incident which i suppose was understandable) but when it came down to it, if we followed some bastards who had stolen our shit, there would be no dignity left.

True, we did give them an ultimatum, and no one likes those since its only true friends that will side with you, so I guess it was that night i realised that hostel friends are rarely true friends, even if you seem to vibe and connect like ones.

But at the same thing I think i can either be very wary and cold-hearted from now on, or continue with my arms extended to others, and I think the former choice will sort of lose my soul a little bit, so I think I will do the latter.

**expatben** · 09-15-2009, 07:33 AM

Totally up to you but I would not reccomend being totally cold hearted. Meeting new people and expanding your knowlege is one of the main reasons I travel to be honest and I would hate to be totally closed off and not hang out with anyone if for no other reason it can be lonely.
I think you did the right thing in that these guys stole from you so screw them, on the other hand it did seem like you met some awesome guys and it would be a shame to let 2 loosers put you off.
Always go with your gut though